Singers spend a lot of time listening to other singers, which is great for enjoying music and improving your musical ear. The flip side to this, is it invites comparison and the desire to sing like someone else. The media dictates which voices we should hear the most, and which voices we should aspire to have.

Learning to love your own voice as a singer can be a difficult and ongoing process, but it's essential for building confidence and improving your skills. If you have performance anxiety or feel that your voice is not enough, this is for you.

Here are some tips for singers who want to learn to love and accept their own voices:

Focus on your strengths

Instead of focusing on what you perceive as flaws in your voice, focus on your strengths. What are you good at? What unique qualities does your voice have? Celebrate these strengths and learn to appreciate them. Make a list of all the things you like about how you sing, what your voice sounds like and what you’re good at. Put it somewhere you can see often–perhaps where you practice.

Embrace authenticity

Your voice is unique to you, and it's a reflection of all the wonderful things that make you who you are. Think of the singers you love most or the performances that have moved you the most. What was it that made you connect?

Billie Eilish might not have the strongest belt, but she embraces her natural tendency towards tender, breathy delivery and people love her for it. Embrace your authenticity and learn to appreciate your voice for what it is, rather than trying to sound like someone else.

Practice mindfulness

Practice mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing and meditation, to help you focus on the present moment. When we’re stressed or in judgement of ourselves, it’s easy to get caught up in the mess of critical thoughts. Developing a practice where you have space and time to observe thoughts, rather than getting lost in them, will help you to let go of self-judgment.

Start off small. Five minutes is great! I particularly love the Insight Timer app, but there are many guided recordings available on YouTube and Spotify.

Seek positive feedback

Seek feedback from people who are supportive and encouraging of your singing, such as your singing teacher or fellow singers. Not only will this help you to connect with others around you, you might also find that other singers are just as nervous and also have doubts about their own artistry. Lift each other up!

When you get positive feedback, write it down or take a screenshot. Keep a record of it. That way, when you’re feeling low, you can take a look at all the nice things people have said.

Record yourself

Recording yourself singing can be a helpful tool for improving your skills, but it can also help you learn to love your voice. Try to notice all of the things you like about the performance. There is a time and a place for constructive criticism, and while you’re trying to build your confidence, leave it be.

You can record your voice on a phone or into a Digital Audio Workstation. The latter will work best if you have an external microphone. Listen to your recordings with an open mind, and focus on what you like about your voice.

Be patient and be kind to yourself

Learning a new skill takes time and repeated action. It’s easy to become disheartened without a good self-compassion strategy. I love Kristin Neff’s website, which is a great place to start if you’re struggling with being kind to yourself.

Think about what you might say or how you might speak to a close friend. Learning to love your own voice is a process, and it may take time. Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't see progress right away.

Remember, everyone's voice is unique, and there's no "perfect" voice. Learning to love your own voice is an important part of becoming a confident and successful singer, and it's a journey that can be both challenging and rewarding.

If you’d like help with building your confidence or would like to try singing lessons, please get in touch to book a discovery call.